Day 14 without Prozac....

Today is the 21st of July, 2009. I have been off of Prozac for almost two weeks exactly. I think I have been on every SSRI known to man. It is amazing how one who was always thought of as cheery, outgoing, over the top brimming with energy, could be so , dead tired, under the weather, seemingly distant, and in a trance.... Depression....it is an ugly thing. I have been on SSRI's, SRNI's, plus everything in between. To help the pain, and suffering that goes with it. I have suffered since July 14, 2005 with PTSD. A car accident that has me still in "the mode" everytime I drive into an intersection, or stopped at a light with others coming behind me. It will be with me for the rest of my life, something that I was totally not at fault for, but happened to me, and I had no control over it. It has given me new perspective about who holds the control button in my life. God was with me every step of the way, and he still is. I know that I had to make the choice of whether I wanted to be "dead" mentally, or live with my fear everyday for the rest of my life. I chose to confront my fear, as difficult as it makes my life somedays. I hated being "blah", so out of it, and really out of touch. I felt that I would rather be in touch with my emotions, however raw they may be, then to have them sqwelched by drugs. So, I may drive like a little old lady, in certain traffic conditions, or desire to drive fast, like I am in a drag race, but I never let those feelings of fear, abandoment, death, get the best of me, because in the end.....God is always being my co-pilot.