Lately, my husband and I have been discussing our beliefs in our marriage, the way we do things, what we believe or not, and why or why not? After having some really scripturally difficult moments in modern Christianity and the churches we have attended in the past few years, we started searching for what God really wanted from us.
But first, a disclaimer!!!!! We have not come to this conclusion for Salvation. That is a totally separate subject of which is based on the faith in Yeshua (Jesus) alone. Period. Following the Torah and rules and statutes that God gave to all of mankind to follow, is because we LOVE Him and want to follow His rules...They say the Bible is the rule book of life. Why don't more of us use it then? I'm just sayin.... secondly, this is my blog, and my right to write as it is still a free country. so if you don't agree, I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just stating what I have been doing, and what the Bible states. So don't shoot the messenger, if you know what I mean.....OK, here we go....
Starting with the first book of the Bible, Genesis and reading thru, skipping and going back and forth, but searching all the way to Revelation, trying to find the real way we are to worship God. We believe, just as Jesus did in the years from His birth, and up to leading up to his death, AND after His resurrection, the way Yeshua (Jesus), worshipped God, and the way that those that followed Him also did. Am I any different than the people that followed Him before or after His Resurrection? Nope! I just live in the 21st century and not the 1st, thats all! But we feel that by going back and gleaning from the 1st Century that we can get more blessings bestowed on us, by taking some of it in, and using it and making it a part of our worship, as we see how God wanted us to worship Him , from all of the books, the first five, the Torah through the Gospels and through Revelation, its all a story , but you have to be willing to make sure what you are reading is what the author AND most importantly, the Inspiration of God through that Author is true from the written source in our language, to what it should mean to us today.
While searching, we were...thinking, reading, , praying, writing, thinking some more, studying, listening, praying, and we came to a conclusion that living life as close to what we gather from scripture that Jesus lived on this earth, sounded like a good place to start! I think most people that KNOW me, would say I do not think myself better than anyone else....and I do not think of myself as a know it all, better than this or that, I put on my clothes the same as everyone else, and my car still needs gas in which to drive it...but I do think that as the Bible says we are supposed to read and meditate on His words day and night, and we are to follow His footsteps. we feel that most Christians have missed that mark in a BIG way, by not taking the front of the BOOK, (Bible, Torah) seriously!, by researching the Bible, front to back, really helped us discover to know what we are supposed to do with this information now that we have it....So on this journey we go....
We have stopped celebrating any man made holiday, no matter how you slice it, it wasn't made BY GOD, it was made by man. Christmas, Easter, Valentines Day, Halloween, etc...We still do birthdays, and we still do holidays, just the ones in the actual Bible, (New and Old testament), not the ones that are wreaking of manmade selfishness and trying to make Coke, Pepsi! It doesn't work. I have friends who if Christmas decorations were an Olympic Event, they would get the GOLD! But God didn't celebrate it OR sanction it! so WHY are people celebrating it? Because if you think about it, those that celebrate it, are celebrating something that a man,(a very bad man, Constantine) set up, to keep people from doing the "Hebrew things of Yeshua(Jesus)" but to take them to "man made Church, and do man made holidays and worship on Sunday, instead of the Hebrew Sabbath, of Saturday....and now 38, 000 denominations later, we have Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Episcopals, Mormons, Catholics, etc...all adding or taking away, as it says numerous times in the Bible NOT TO DO, but to only follow God and His laws.. Unfortunately, they all believe they are worshipping Christ, (Yeshua), but I believe they are sadly mistaken....do you ever wonder how our Messiah, that was born a Jew, got a Greek Hellenized name? Or English translated name....Did the translators think Yeshua was too hard for us to get. Well, interestingly enough, my name, Shoshana is a hebrew, Israeli name. But no matter how you prounounce it, you can't make it an english name, or construe it for something else, it is a Hebrew name, from Israel, meaning Rose. Why do Christians, feel so arrogant thinking that they are calling HIM by His name, and HE says in the Bible, that He Has a Name and wants to be called that, (I don't think that Mary called him Jesus) that is a Greek name, not a hebrew one. I once had a friend that we went around and around about this. And the answer to me was "Well we got the Bible in Greek and English, so that is what I will read it as and glean from that. That is like trying to get classical music out of Justin Bieber! Come on people!!! REALLY???
I am NOT trying to say we are better than anyone, however I do believe that if you really read your Bible over word for word, out loud if you must , you wont miss the the things that are in there , if you check out the hebrew derivation of the word and what He meant by it. Not going on what has been translated a billion times, and other books added on to and taken away from.
We felt at this time, it was most important for the blessings to flow, as He says He has so much to give us that we won't have enough room to store them, we wanted that for our lives, so we looked in the Bible about getting blessings. It says that to get blessings instead of curses, you MUST OBEY THE LORD YOUR GOD AND FOLLOW HIM AND HIS COMMANDMENTS AND STATUTES! if you don't know what HE followed and did, for that you have to get into the study of the Hebrew mindset, as most of the writers of the Bible were Hebrews. And for the record, as some are going to say, "well, you're not Jewish", ~ It's not about being "Jewish" its about being Godly. The 10 Commandments were given to all people, as we are "the olive tree" grafted in, and no one was until after the Ressurection, the disciples were Hebrew beleivers, and maybe you could call them Jews, but that isn't how the original Authors described them, when you realize that the Greek and English transcriptions are all man made "ideologies" of what those men thought that it meant, you have been lied to about so many things. I finally decided that the lies stop here. I can no longer be part of what isn't even about God anymore, its so riddled with so many man made things, that most aren't even aware of, because they think, " Well Christmas means Christ's birth to me, and I was raised that way, and I think that God will be ok with that." ...I was one of you , and ironically I have been a Jew also, just like Paul. So I know how hard it is to go a different path, but I also know from being in both places, that this IS right! So I feel that God allowed me to go there, to show me what he wanted in us,(In the one new man), not separating us, but bringing us together, as He tried to do so many years ago. The way His parents raised him, he didn't go to church! He went to synagogue, He said the prayers and kept the Sabbath and the Holy days, not Christmas and Easter, He kept Hanukkah (book of John) and Passover (gospels), He kept other holidays too, Feast of Weeks, (Shavuot) Feast of Tabernacles(Sukkot), etc...He was a Jew, born and raised, died and raised again, as a JEW. Once you are born a Jew, you can still have a faith in Christ, but that doesn't make you a Christian, it makes you a Jew that belives in the Messiah. He isn't a Christian Messiah, He is everyone that believes, Messiah. To the Jew first then the Gentile. WE are all part of ONE GOD, from the beginning...period! IT was at the Tower of Babel things got put in the mixer, and its today, we still have that problem, that was why we decided to look beyond and make sure we were doing the right things by HIM! Not by anyone else, we studied it and we were shocked by what we found too. It hasn't been easy for us either...But we know this is right, as we have found such blessings abounding once we started to keep 7th day Sabbath, as Yeshua (Jesus) did, and started to try to keep some of the holidays that He did, which now are kept mainly by people that are Jewish, but we should have stayed with keeping them all along and got waylayed by that Constantine guy!
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I believe that 1 Cor 11 has meaning in today's world. Part of it is what is appropriate for men and women in times of prayer and prophesying, back in the first century or so, I still feel that it is not wrong for today's society if one sees fit, and/or feels led by the spirit to do so....since 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says we are "to pray without ceasing. I will still continue to wear hats and headbands/scarves , but that since its not a "commandment" to cover our entire hair. I will to honor my husband allow some to show, when he is around. Most women can tell you that nothing changes "who you are, more than a hair cut, style or color! Right? so that is what I 'm trying to get away from, is not being out there for others to see, comment or compliment, or part of the "who will look at me now" campaign, as those thoughts and feelings should only come from my husband, we feel. I am not under some kind of Sharia Law, or anything, its the way women were in the times of Yeshua (Jesus) and so I want to maintain my closeness in that way as well. Being modest also helps me to keep my mouth shut when I shouldn't say something not nice, helps me to think good thoughts, and to try to be kind to others, in my walk each day. I can't say that about myself before, I was just as selfish as anyone else, could be, I would say, although I tried to be all the things above, but having that little reminder out there is a definite "outward symbol of an inward change" that shows on my head where my heart is.
I have had several men say "wow, I love your hair!", when I cut, colored and styled it! the funny thing was they were all married!!!! (what made my hair different than their wives.??)Yet you never heard them say those comments to their wives...so it made me very uncomfortable Another reason I have covered as a believer. For my own protection "it made me feel safe", and made me feel less "on display". As you will notice that not a day doesn't go by where you see a commercial or billboard that doesn't have a "hair blowing in the wind " advertisement for everything from shampoo to chewing gum to cars and underwear! So it makes sense to me that our "hair" has become too commercialized, almost like who we "are."..(notice all the gels, mousses, hair spray, dryers, curlers, irons, etc that is in most women's bathrooms right now???), and I want to be more than that, so I cover it up for modesty reasons. I want to be known for my thoughts or feelings on everything, not just what I'm showing or not showing that day...I want to feminine, and a gentle soul. So only my husband gets to see my hair out"blowing in the wind"....I do for him, wear it mostly up with headbands of some sort, not down just out, although I do wear it down just headband on rare occasions...but still keeping it very "basic" and only fancy for His eyes only.
We live in a very small conservative town, I do get looks, as I am the only one that wears scarves on a reg basis...I can see, how some one might think I'm MUSLIM, , have cancer, etc ... for the record.... I am NOT MUSLIM!(and I do not have cancer and I am not amish or mennonite!)
I AM however, a fundamental, conservative, hebraic/christian studying and trying to find the hebrew roots of our Savior. I have an open mind, as I am able to read and learn and study and judge for myself, what I am supposed to believe. My parents were average "go to church on Sunday" Southern Baptist type parents, so I was raised no differently than most kids I know/knew. But at this point in my life, I want to know Him intimately in the way that he lived and died, all his background, some may think that is weird, but for me its a part of MY journey. No different than those that study genealogy, this is MY genealogy... Since it is my journey, I have to live it, good or bad, up or down, the best way I think it should be, guided by reading my Bible and praying, with God's guidance. It is an intimate trip, and I am sharing part of it with you..
I have been to Israel where all of Jesus' life was lived, I have walked in the Garden of Gethsemane, I have been to the Mt. of Olives, I have been to where they say he was born in Bethlehem and even in a boat on the Sea of Gallilee, where he preached. and I have seen part of his tomb they say, part of the stone that was rolled away, that made me really want to search inside to see where I fit in to that story. If you were to talk to long time friends, they would tell you that I have always been comfortable with the hebrew background of Jesus, once during my adulthood, I found out that he was a Jew! ( they don't really tell you that in sunday school), and since I am "His daughter", then I am not ashamed of where he came from , or how he was raised, or lived, and feel honored to be His child, grafted into His grace and mercy, a part of Bnei Israel! .....I still believe He died on the cross for our salvation, just as most Christians believe. I do however, follow certain rituals from scripture out of Love and admiration for Him, not FOR salvation from Him...in other words, I know that by being a good person, doesn't get you to Heaven, as none of us can do that on our own; so we needed God's Son(Yeshua)/(Jesus) dying on the cross for our sins, for atonement, as we can't attone ourselves, no matter how good we are, how nice we are, or what works or accomplishments we do on this earth.
2. I will still dress modestly. I believe I would rather have people notice me for my brains and my attitude, rather than my body parts hanging over or out when it isnt appropriate, (which in my mind) is ususally never! I think we should go back to the 50s, but that is just me....I think women that are modestly attired, and( I'm not saying being covered with a sheet from head to toe), are classier and prettier. (1950s) I want to be more than body parts, if you know what I mean. .I am an intelligent, fun loving, adventurous woman, I dare to be different and I am certainly not the cookie cutter style gal like some women, and I don't want to be like the others either... by dressing a certain way, modestly and in a reserved fashion, does not make me think I'm better than others, as I am not , just different! I've always liked being different, I think that God made me this way, and I am proud of it.
3. I still beleive that the Torah(which means "instruction", ( the 1st 5 books of Moses /the Old Testament) Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus,Numbers and Deuteronomy) is the right thing, for all peoples for "all your generations" as it says in the Bible..we try to follow the 10 commandments, as they are not the 10 suggestions, as Dr. Laura Schlessinger, famed radio and TV personality/psychologist, put it in one of her books by the same name. I beleive we are missing the mark with only keeping the ones that are convenient or easy. We should try to keep all 10, not just 5 or 9, but all 10 of them, again, not for salvation, but as I believe, when the heart is changed through God, you want to do the right thing, and you want to obey Gods word. God says in the Bible says, "If my people, who are called by MY NAME, will humble themselves and pray, I will heal their land", maybe this is part of our problems as a nation....just sayin'...
4. By my using hebraic text or lingo, doesn't mean that I have gone mad or I am trying to be "holier than thou" either. No different than if your family comes from Italy, you want to learn Italian, or make pizza, or if you are from China, you may want to find out what your name means in Chinese, or make a traditional Chinese dish, or dress in traditional dress...I don't know why, but when people all of a sudden want to learn biblical history or language, everyone says they are a "weirdo", or they are "trying to be holier than thou", or "who does she think SHE is"? Why is it any different? It isn't, but for some reason, people treat it that way. I am trying to learn and understand the language and times of my Savior. Trying to understand the holidays HE celebrated; what his mother called him when she wanted him in for dinner, where He travelled, what He taught and what it means in these days and times for us.
I am not perfect, nor profess to be anything but a student and a servant. I hope to be all that God wants from me on this earth while I am here. I hope to obtain the accolades from Him when I get there, not from earthly bestowances.(although I believe through obedience we get blessings, so let the blessings flow!)I want to be friends with all, I am very loyal, and I expect my friends and family to be the same. I do not wish anyone to think I am trying to change them, teach them or advise them, unless asked to do so, as again I am only one of many on this earth, all walking the same way, taking different paths maybe, and ending up in different places, but all in the same, we are all one people, but we do have standards and beliefs to live up to, whether spiritual or human ones.
We both believe most of these things said above, just I may be more serious and outspoken on mine than he is. I tend to move quickly with some things, and hang back with others, that is just my style. And I can be very passionate about some things, that I feel strongly about, just the way I am. I am more likely to find what I like and jump in, sometimes getting out of the "pool and letting the water cool" before I jump back in, but jumping back in none the same. But as long as it works for us, and our marriage, and we are still trying to work through it, than that is what we are all about. I do know from previous relationships, that you can't be all that the other one wants only, and not be yourself, or you lose who you are, and it is not a very nice compromise. You have to be yourself, and He has to be himself, and in that, God can change both parties to make them agreeable with each other in the way God wants. This is how its worked in my life anyway.
I am happy that we are able to talk and understand and listen to one another and pray with one another, as that is what makes a great marriage. Both people, sharing, enduring, listening, talking, bearing, and understanding the other and their likes and dislikes, their feelings and emotions, and their journeys on this path called life. All of us have a person(s) that we look up to, or learn from , whether at home, work, school or play. I am just trying to honor the one that God chose for me, to share and love and live with. Working out our love and lives day by day with God at the head, guiding us in His ways.
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