Sunday, April 14

Are we in or out?

HI, friends…I decided to break out of the mold, and start something new, as several things have been stirring in me about my blog posts since before my vacation, which was amazing! So here I am, That alone should keep me busy for awhile…so hoping and praying for the real me to come out here and really get into what I believe and why I believe it. The journey started about a year or two ago, but it has been burning a little spark in me for several years now…So, grab some tea, sit back, enjoy what I believe is the thing to write for that day or moment. And it is my sincere desire that maybe each thing will speak to you, tickle you, make you think, make you cry, or even make you mad! But at any rate, to make you want to come back and read more…

***I had this on, but didn't "feel" their format for me, so brought me back to Blogger..anyway, interesting, little blurb that I wrote. We kinda knew that our time in MT could be short, as hubby had been toying with a job "offer" back in Oregon.. The day he actually was offered it, he came home for "tea break" at 730, and then went back to work, and the stinker knew all along, but waited until 11 to come home for the night and show me the email he got with the offer of pay and stuff. THEN he even playing with me, acted like his computer had a glitch, so he summoned me to come and look at it, when I went into our office, I saw the offer letter email, and from there,(I was so happy, I was screaming)! But fortunately, in the forest if you scream, and the river runs through it, does anyone hear you?, NOPE! so scream with glee I did.!!! We had prayed about it, and so it was a strange move, exciting and emotional in many ways, but we came back to Oregon. Family friends, and the Northwest where we have both grown up and met 9 years ago. So here we are , again.
SO……….Here is to blogging with abandon!

Wednesday, April 10

Same candy, different wrapper....

I have been praying about headcovering lately...that if it wasn't from the Father (for me), then to take away the desire to do it...Well, its been a couple weeks and the desire is still there...and I also asked for a sign. Last night I had a dream, about a bunch of women, we were in a mall like setting, stores around, and there were women everywhere, covered with scarves and coverings of one type or another. All walks, and different religions, all walking the same path in regards to that...interesting! a sign? maybe, maybe not...So, on I go.

I also told hubby last night as I took off my scarf, that its like a "hug" on my head or protection from harm or something, I can't quite get a finger on it..ITS NOT A COMMANDMENT, I know this. Neither "testament" (OT/Torah and prophets or the New Testament) gives direct commandments for it. It is an amazing feeling though for me. Yesterday, while at the Library, I was sitting, just browsing some magazines...and the two things that jumped out at me, were some really cute modest clothes, (pics later) , and the amount of ads about a different kind of "covering" with makeup and clothing that calls for attention to ME ME ME, not just pretty clothes that are nice and clean and well made, but over the top, and the hair color and all that stuff for makeup and hair products...I have realized, that even if you have no clothes on, if its to get attention, its covering something else up. This is why I'm so strong on learning about who you are in your own skin. As there are multi-million dollar industries for everything, from hair stuff, to clothing, to work out places and things to do to get "thin" quick etc, and makeup and on and on and on....but if used to cover up who you really are and not for making yourself more "approachable" for good, then that isn't good in my opinion. You know hiding weight issues, insecurity, pretty issues. There will always be someone thinner, prettier, more confident. We have to start where we are, and by asking God to "make us more like Him", since we are created in His image. Again this is what I am striving for, to be blessed by Him and to be a blessing for others. This is my humble prayer.

DON''T GET ME WRONG! I love my hair, its what is mine at the end of the night (as grey as it is), sometimes I have a love hate relationship...not too long ago, I wore a short bob, and colored my hair, once, 3 different colors, highlights..I still keep it nice for hubs, at home, or sometimes I wear a hat, or scarf(with a little fall, sometimes) when he and I are out, as that is his request(just hair in bun or up). I also wear make up, to some degree. As hubb prefers , I try to honor him and God and myself at the same time, a tall order some days! But I strive on!! I have been reading everything I can get my hands on. YES, dividing truth from fallacy, don't worry but still interesting. From the early American Indians (and hair and covering) to new age, to Christian, Catholic information on the subject to Sikh and Muslim and Jewish philosophers, the Blogosphere to other gals that do it, and why? I understand some things are just because "God said so", but since this isn't one of them, and it's not really mandated in Torah or the NT, technically, then, you have to dig deeper to understand it, if you wish to understand it..

My husband, and most of my friends not in the same place spiritually,(not saying that they are better or I am better, it just is this way) and that is ok, we all respect each other, or at least we try to. And my hubby and I aren't at the same place in this respect either. and that is ok, I love that man so much!!!!.. I feel he is my "beshert"(in hebrew means, the one for me; soul mate if you will ), anyway. I struggle with these things some days more than others, but isn't that the meaning of "Israel", to struggle with God.?

This reminds me of a story once long ago..I had some friends. The wife was a convert, husband was Jewish ,(He was born Jewish).... and his mothers dying words were, "don't let him get too religious". LOL. Their family at that time I would say he was "modern orthodox", she was " reform." I say this with total admiration for them, as they have been married all these years and gone through alot of things in life. She wasn't at the same place as he was either, but total respect and love and admiration for them and their kids..she made sure that their, kids went to religious school, that kashrut ( kosher ) food rules were followed in and out of the house, dog and horse food was kosher for Passover,(for his observance)etc. I mean, by talking to him or her or looking at them, you wouldn't know the depth of observance... The point being is she let him be who he was, and he let her be who she was. If a marriage doesn't let one another "breathe" then the marriage will die. Just like a plant that is ignored and not nurtured. IT WILL DIE! I have experienced this in my own life in my past. Hubby and I are not in the same place, but we are in the same PLACE, you know? We love each other deeply, as we have been through a lot too. And that usually makes you stronger And that is how a relationship grows, we aren't all made the same, even though in the image of our Creator, so how can we all think the same, even if we agree? So he supports what I do and why I do it, for the most part, even if he isn't "into" it.

Well, I hope to hear your thoughts on this, good or bad... and if you think I've gone off the deep end, that is ok too. I'm still ME, just different. Think of it this way...You get a candy bar...and you let it sit in the glove compartment in the sun, and you then forget about it, but when you get it again, its still a candy bar, just different than you imagined it, same wrapper, just the insides have changed? That is how I describe myself, until I come up with something better....

This is just some stuff on my head lately, (under my covering) and I decided to let you in on it...Hope you enjoy it and it blesses you...Hugs!

Saturday, April 6

Tehillim/Psalm 50

Chapter 50

א מִזְמוֹר לְאָסָף אֵל | אֱֽלֹהִים יְֽהוָה דִּבֶּר וַיִּקְרָא־אָרֶץ מִמִּזְרַח־שֶׁמֶשׁ עַד־מְבֹאֽוֹ
: ב מִצִּיּוֹן מִכְלַל־יֹפִי אֱלֹהִים הוֹפִֽיעַ
: ג יָבֹא אֱלֹהֵינוּ וְֽאַל־יֶחֱרַשׁ אֵֽשׁ־לְפָנָיו תֹּאכֵל וּסְבִיבָיו נִשְֽׂעֲרָה מְאֹֽד
: ד יִקְרָא אֶל־הַשָּׁמַיִם מֵעָל וְאֶל־הָאָרֶץ לָדִין עַמּֽוֹ
: ה אִסְפוּ־לִי חֲסִידָי כֹּרְתֵי בְרִיתִי עֲלֵי־זָֽבַח
: ו וַיַּגִּידוּ שָׁמַיִם צִדְקוֹ כִּֽי־אֱלֹהִים | שֹׁפֵט הוּא סֶֽלָה
: ז שִׁמְעָה עַמִּי | וַֽאֲדַבֵּרָה יִשְׂרָאֵל וְאָעִידָה בָּךְ אֱלֹהִים אֱלֹהֶיךָ אָנֹֽכִי
: ח לֹא עַל־זְבָחֶיךָ אוֹכִיחֶךָ וְעוֹלֹתֶיךָ לְנֶגְדִּי תָמִֽיד
: ט לֹא־אֶקַּח מִבֵּיתְךָ פָר מִמִּכְלְאֹתֶיךָ עַתּוּדִֽים
: י כִּי־לִי כָל־חַיְתוֹ־יָעַר בְּהֵמוֹת בְּהַרְרֵי־אָֽלֶף
: יא יָדַעְתִּי כָּל־עוֹף הָרִים וְזִיז שָׂדַי עִמָּדִֽי
: יב אִם־אֶרְעַב לֹא־אֹמַר לָךְ כִּי לִי תֵבֵל וּמְלֹאָֽהּ
: יג הַֽאוֹכַל בְּשַׂר אַבִּירִים וְדַם עַתּוּדִים אֶשְׁתֶּֽה
: יד זְבַח לֵאלֹהִים תּוֹדָה וְשַׁלֵּם לְעֶלְיוֹן נְדָרֶֽיךָ
: טו וּקְרָאֵנִי בְּיוֹם צָרָה אֲחַלֶּצְךָ וּֽתְכַבְּדֵֽנִי
: טז וְלָרָשָׁע | אָמַר אֱלֹהִים מַה־לְּךָ לְסַפֵּר חֻקָּי וַתִּשָּׂא בְרִיתִי עֲלֵי־פִֽיךָ
: יז וְאַתָּה שָׂנֵאתָ מוּסָר וַתַּשְׁלֵךְ דְּבָרַי אַֽחֲרֶֽיךָ
: יח אִם־רָאִיתָ גַנָּב וַתִּרֶץ עִמּוֹ וְעִם מְנָֽאֲפִים חֶלְקֶֽךָ
: יט פִּיךָ שָׁלַחְתָּ בְרָעָה וּלְשׁוֹנְךָ תַּצְמִיד מִרְמָֽה
: כ תֵּשֵׁב בְּאָחִיךָ תְדַבֵּר בְּבֶן־אִמְּךָ תִּֽתֶּן־דֹּֽפִי
: כא אֵלֶּה עָשִׂיתָ | וְֽהֶחֱרַשְׁתִּי דִּמִּיתָ הֱיוֹת אֶֽהְיֶה כָמוֹךָ אוֹכִיֽחֲךָ וְאֶֽעֶרְכָה לְעֵינֶֽיךָ
: כב בִּֽינוּ־נָא זֹאת שֹׁכְחֵי אֱלוֹהַּ פֶּן־אֶטְרֹף וְאֵין מַצִּֽיל
: כג זֹבֵחַ תּוֹדָה יְֽכַבְּדָנְנִי וְשָׂם דֶּרֶךְ אַרְאֶנּוּ בְּיֵשַׁע אֱלֹהִֽים

. A Psalm of Asaph. The mighty God, the Lord, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to its setting.
2. Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth.
3. Our God comes, and does not keep silence; a fire devours before him, and there is a mighty tempest around him.
4. He calls to the heavens from above, and to the earth, that he may judge his people.
5. Gather my pious ones together to me; those who have made a covenant with me by sacrifice.
6. And the heavens shall declare his righteousness; for God is judge himself. Selah.
7. Hear, O my people, and I will speak; O Israel, and I will testify against you; I am God, your God.
8. I will not reprove you for your sacrifices, and your burnt offerings are continually before me.
9. I will accept no bull from your house, nor male goats from your folds.
10. For every beast of the forest is mine, and the cattle upon a thousand mountains.
11. I know all the birds of the mountains; and the wild beasts of the field are mine.
12. If I were hungry, I would not tell you; for the world is mine, and all that fills it.
13. Do I eat the flesh of bulls, or drink the blood of goats?
14. Offer to God thanksgiving; and pay your vows to the most High;
15. And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will save you, and you shall glorify me.
16. But to the wicked man God says, What right have to you to declare my statutes, or to take my covenant in your mouth?
17. For you hate instruction, and cast my words behind you.
18. If you see a thief, you consort with him, and you keep company with adulterers.
19. You give your mouth free rein for evil, and your tongue frames deceit.
20. You sit and speak against your brother; you slander the son of your own mother.
21. You have done these things, and I have kept silence; you thought that I was one like yourself; but I will rebuke you and set the matter before your eyes.
22. Now consider this, you who forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to save.
23. Whoever offers praise glorifies me; and to him who orders his way aright I will show the salvation of God.

Tuesday, February 26

Raining cats and dogs

Paws attraction? Or is it " animal magnetism"? I must have it, whatever
it is.

I have 2 dogs. Buster is a parsons Russell terrier, he is 4 years old. Ru, is a border collie/ lab mix and he is 5 years old.  AND a cat, our precious priceless princess, Latte' and she is the eldest at 6 years old. All of our animals are our babies. They are with us all the time and I can't imagine it any other way. Our dogs even go with us just about everywhere.

The other night, Buster got hurt by running up to the top of our waterfall, at night. He fell on some rocks by slipping on the moss on the rocks, thus falling down the slope and scratching and scraping himself. My husband, who was out with them heard a shriek, like Buster was having an altercation with another animal, but thankfully when Buster got down to ground level, he had just slipped. He is very much my "child", I have a tendency to go long and hard into things, at times before thinking what am I getting myself into. "Passionate stupidity" is what I call it. When you get so involved in something,  you feel all systems are "go" and you go careening into "whatever you are doing" without stopping and thinking, before you press the gas pedal. Anyway, he does that a lot, sort of a terrier trait, I guess. I worried about him so much all night. Trying to make him comfortable, checking on him, praying and singing to him. It's amazing the attraction we have to pets and the attention we give them. Because we love them, they ARE family to us.

We also have a part time pet, Elmo( that's what we call him anyway, he seems to answer to it). He is the back neighbors alpaca. Just seems he is lonely, so anytime he hears us out in our backyard, he comes to the fence. He seems to prefer me to hubby, but this morning, while the dogs and hubby were up on the trail by the waterfall, Elmo was there to greet them. And  it was really sweet, as I'm watching my husband , and the dogs return from the trail, on the other side of the fence is Elmo following them!

Ru, is our big boy. Even though the "middle"child, he is so lovable. He loves to herd us, especially if we are in the kitchen cooking! Or if we are sitting down, he'll lay on our feet as if to say, "don't move" I want you to stay right here.

Latte, she is our 18 pound lap cat. Part Siamese and part Bengal, she is as sweet as she is beautiful. She is daddy's little girl for sure. She loves to "nurse" and "make biscuits", on anything that seems to work for her at the time, sleeves, blankets, sheets , shirts, etc. she acts like she is "nursing" and goes into this funny "trance" while she is doing it. And it could be a few minutes or an hour! But unless its an emergency, Latte' can have all the time she needs. Sometimes, all three of the indoor animals will play hide and seek. Mostly Latte' hides and the boys seek. They sleep with us( minus the alpaca) LOL! Usually Buster by my feet, Ru at the foot of the bed on the flor, and Latte', wherever she wants. She is a cat, after all, she rules the house.

I am happy with our little family. Sometimes they are lots of mischief , sometimes messy, or they shed a lot at times, and a lot of work ~ but you know, nothing that soap water or double sided tape won't take care of. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Saturday, February 23

Ahhhhh, Shabbat I miss you already

It's amazing, it's only 4 hours after Shabbat and I look forward to it next time!

It's so wonderful to have a set apart time, that isn't defined by what you are doing, but rather by what you aren't. It's not defined by a building, or people in a building, it's defined by your relationship with God. You can be anywhere, and just at that "appointed" time sundown friday night to the sundown on the next day(Saturday ) it's Shabbat ! Time of rest, renewal, and spending time with God and family and friends.

It was a quiet day for the most part, and it's been rainy most of the weekend. But thankfully I don't have to go anywhere, actually it's best to just relax and absorb the spirit of God in everything around us. In prayer, reading the Torah portion for the week, or seeing the rain drops dripping from the trees, and the water running through the creek, the birds flying in the bushes, and friends coming to visit. What a lovely time our set apart day is. Baruch HaShem for Shabbat !

Friends came to visit. We ate and talked and shared what was happening with their family and ours. We have been friends since HS. Although we lost about 25 yrs in the way somewhere, it's nice when we talk, like we never lost the time at all. They are good friends. I pray everyone has at least one friend who, besides their spouse is or has been always there when you needed a friend. That is how Bob and Kathy have always been. I am grateful for their friendship.

I hope all have a great week ahead, enjoy each day, as its gone the next day. I will try to write more each week. Blessings of encouragement to all.